Polish Sausage Piñatas, Anyone?

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

It was a beautiful spring day on Tuesday, the sun shining through the windows of Miller Park, the grounds crew touching up areas of the field, a group of workers doing their best to fix parts of the retractable roof, and the 2003 Brewer squad taking batting practice in preparation for their last spring training game against the Chicago White Sox tomorrow evening.

A small gathering of journalists were huddled around the desk of General Manager Michael Johnson, eager to hear what he has to say about his club and the inaugural season of the National Internet Baseball Association.  Johnson leaned over his desk, grabbed a small white bottle, poured a few pills into his hand and popped them in his mouth.

"These guys are so bad, it gives me a migraine just to watch them practice," he said.  "I mean, they're so bad," Johnson continued, "that when they're taking batting practice, the grounds crew don't even fear for their lives out there.  I guess that's a good thing, actually...the players can practice, and the crew can work on the field at the same time."

Yes, this 2003 Brewer club figures to be bad.  Real bad.  Like George W. Bush at a spelling bee kinda bad.  But with the "glass-is-more-than-half-empty" feeling around the Brewer clubhouse, there's also a sense of excitement.

"These guys are really eager to get out there and set some records," Johnson said.  "After all, with the NIBA coming in and all, they have a chance with a clean slate.  We hope to set records that will never be beat.  Things like worst winning percentage, lowest team batting average, highest team ERA...things like that.  Yup, we figure we can have our names in the books for eternity."

There are also plenty of things for fans to be excited about as well.  The Brewers will be hosting a number of promotional events during home games this season.  The year starts off with "Place Your Bets" day, where all fans can legally place bets on the Brewers or their opponents.  "If the opposing team is smart," said Johnson, "they'll realize everyone will be betting on them...so all they have to do is bet against themselves, throw the game, and win some cash.  If that happens all year, who knows how far we'll go."

On Cinco de Mayo, the Brewers will have the first annual "Polish Sausage Piñata Day," where all fans will receive a free Randall Simon jersey and have a chance throughout the game to smack open a piñata of the Polish Sausage in the right field concourse area.  And on ten select home games throughout the season, fans will be able to grab a bat, step up to the plate, and try to get a hit in an actual NIBA game.  "Couldn't hurt," said Johnson.

"Oh, and for $5 a word, fans can place their own personal message in the left-center field wall," Johnson added, pointing to the outfield walls which now resemble a good portion of the Yellow Pages.  "If we're going to play like a minor league team, we might as well give the fans minor league entertainment."

Here's the positional breakdown of the 2003 Milwaukee Brewers:

Catcher
>Announcer: Now batting, at catcher, Cody McKay.
>Fans (collectively): Whooooo????
>Announcer: ...McKay...
>Fans: Ooooohhhhhhhh...
Canadian Cody McKay will most likely get the start behind the plate for the Brewers, who have recently traded Eddie Perez and released Keith Osik who were thought to have the roster spots as catcher.  Newly acquired rookie David Ross will be McKay's backup.  Neither one has a reputation for a good glove, so many errors and passed balls are to be expected.

First Base
Former Pirate Randall Simon will be the Brewers first baseman for the 2003 season.  In fact, he's already made a serious impact on the team.  Since his arrival, the Polish Sausage costume has mysteriously disappeared.  Simon will likely be in the heart of the order, batting third or fourth for the year.

Second Base
Former Texas Ranger prospect Michael Young will be the second baseman for the Brewers this season.  The club has high hopes for this defensive gem of a player.  Offensively, he should also be among the team leaders.  Early indications have him batting second in the order.  Rookies Carlos Rivera and Matt Kata are in a fierce competition for the backup spot.  "They're like two sisters clawing over who gets the prettiest bedroom," said one Brewer coach.

Third Base
Wes Helms will hold the starter job at the hot corner, at least for the start of the season.  Not much is expected from this position, however, as Helms figures to only be a temporary replacement until a future prospect matures.  Utility infielder Keith Ginter will be the backup for Wes.

Shortstop
The organization is excited about 21 year old Alejandro Machado.  "We think he looks real good out there," said Brewer manager Ned Yost.  "Unfortunately because of our roster situation, he's forced to be our #1 guy at such an early age.  We'll have to see how he adjusts to that."  Machado will figure to play a large part in the future of the organization, but may be faced with a position move when the newly drafted BJ Upton moves through the minors.

Outfield
An area not expected to see much production this season.  Rookie Alex Escobar, the future's answer to departed fan favorite Geoff Jenkins, will see significant time in left field.  Brady Clark appears to have captured to starting spot in center field.  And Scott Podsednik, likely to play in right field, looks to be the clubs leadoff man for the year.  Veteran journeyman John Vander Wal and rookie Cristian Guerrero will start the year as backups, but those plans could change.  "We were thinking about playing Brooks Kieschnick out there," said Yost.  "He may be a pitcher, but he's one heck of a hitter."

Starting Rotation
"These guys couldn't scare a hiccup away," said pitching coach Mike Maddux.  The ace of the Brewer rotation makes his return to Milwaukee after a disappointing stint not too long ago.  Draftee Jamey Wright will be given the top spot of these five.  The Brewers will also turn to long time vet Dave Burba to eat up some innings.  Lefty Wayne Franklyn will be given a chance to show everyone what he's got, and rookies Travis Hughes and Ben Kozlowski, two guys that look to be a large part of the future for the Brewers, will have a chance to make some waves in 2003.

Bullpen
The Brewer pen will consist mostly of young and untested pitchers.  Not much is expected from them, but there are a few bright spots waiting to shine.  Youngsters Victor Alvarez, Brandon Webb, and Shane Nance will use this season to gather some big league experience.  Newly drafted Dan Reichert will also play a large part in the rotation, as will Jayson Durocher and the aforementioned Kieschnick.  28 year old Leo Estrella has the early label as the club's closer for now, and in the future.

Outlook
This season, it's pretty grim.  Gone are fan favorites Richie Sexson, Geoff Jenkins, and Ben Sheets.  But acquired are top notch prospects such as Joe Mauer, BJ Upton, and Sean Burnett.  "We knew when we took over this club that we had no other choice but to rebuild," said GM Michael Johnson.  "We're eager to see what the future holds.  As for this year?  Well...let's all just sit back and have a few good laughs."